It’s safe to say that I am in no way an alfa male. To a greater extent, I’m more of an omega male than a beta one. I haven’t got much courage, nor have I confidence.
Neither do I have epic physical prowess, so I’ve never been in a physical fight. Well, that’s not completely true. I did strangle a boy when I was in year nine because he was the opposite to polite to me for the last three years. After I pinned him against the wall, all he had was pleasantries towards me for the rest of the years we knew each other. But yeah, I don’t advise anyone to do that mind, I just flipped my anger-flavoured biscuit. Nice.
What I’m heading towards is violence. I am in no way good with violence or fighting. I find it difficult to even watch boxing without worrying about the possible side effects that the participants of the sport will suffer something like a bloody nose, or a loss of an ear. You never know.
So much so, I don’t comprehend why people actively search for people fighting on YouTube. I witnessed this first-hand during an Electronics lecture. One student had no idea what to do, neither did he bother to ask. So, he ventured onto the Tube of the You variety, typed in some words, clicked on a link and as soon as the broadband connection of the university’s internet allowed it to, a video appeared on the screen.
It’s title? Something on the lines of “World’s Best Knockouts”.
And no, it was not about boxing.
This video was a montage of men knocking out other men for various reasons. Either to stand up for themselves as a group tries to disrupt their evening, to some utter wazzocks beating each other to a pulp because they are filled with alcohol and the disillusion that strength equals everything in the world.
I mean, where’s the fascination in that?
It’s like in school, where nearly everyone forms a circle around some idiots who are fighting while chanting “fight” in an overly-enthusiastic manner. I’ll be honest, I have no idea what’s worse – the adolescent round of fisticuffs or the seemingly endless chanting that the circular wall of viewers shout out to entice hatred into the world.
But, what am I getting at here? Well, it was something that I overheard a couple of days ago.
“Is it ever acceptable to smack your children?”
I don’t know, but that’s a rather odd thing to ask. Obviously, it is acceptable to smack your child. Well, only if they are ruining their lives. I mean, I know I’m no expert, not having any children and all, but it does seem rather extreme to smack a child just because they do something small like not listen to you or something similar.
To me, there’s only ever one time that it’s acceptable to smack a child, and even then they are well on their way to adulthood. As I said before, I think the only time that it could be acceptable is if that child is ruining their lives. By that, I mean wasting their lives and money on drink and drugs.
By that, I don’t mean I’ll slap my child at the first chance I get when I realise that they’ve consumed the poison, but if I see that their present will be the end of their future and they do not listen, then I may resort to a quick smack. And only if I’m extremely angry and frustrated.
Though, as I would consider myself a rather old-fashioned person, I wouldn’t do that if my child was female. Or, to put it in different terms, if I had a crack-dependent daughter.
I’ve never thought it was acceptable to be violent towards women. Well, there’s always an exception that breaks the law. In this case, it is if a female tries to kill me. I mean, if human female named Sunita comes at my manly self with a kitchen knife and a packet of marmite crisps, then I’ll obviously fight back. Well, I say fight back, I would just try to defend myself.in the best way that will do the least harm to her. And since I have no experience with self defence, I may accidentally do damage to her. Unintentionally, of course.
But, one thing that strikes me as rather bizarre is something I overheard a while back. One bloke said something on the lines of “if women want the same rights as men, then they should be able to handle a punch or get back into the kitchen”, which, to me, seems slightly on the sexist side of the spectrum.
I can’t understand that thought process. Equality should be for everyone, not just for those who have a penis. Maybe that’s what they meant by that saying – “Everyone is born equal, though some people are born more equal than others”. And besides, I know of some women who can take a punch much better than I can, and who can deal more damage back. And no, that isn’t scientific research, I did not line people up and began to punch them, allow them to vote who dealt more pain, then do the same as they began to beat us half to death.
Hang on, why does it have to be acceptable to be violent against anyone anyway? Okay, I can marginally understand why in sports, but not in ordinary life.
I thank ye, world.
Past Dear World articles from CrazyDistortion Sub-Editor include:
Drink & Drugs
Facebook’s NSPCC Campaign
X Factor And The Christmas Number One