When I look at a horse I think a few things:
1. Get your hair cut
2. Grow some toes
3. Get a proper tail
You see, horses don’t have tails, no matter how much the media would like you to think otherwise. Yes, admittedly from a fair distance the common household horse would appear to have a tail or tail-like device. But no, on closer inspection it actually turns out to be hair, simple hair.
The Concise English Penguin Reference Dictionary defines a tail as:
The luminous trail of gas and dust behind a comet.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m the last person to argue with a cosmologist but I don’t think that fits the description of the ABOMINATION that defies all definition that protrudes from a horse’s posterior. There’s not even any bone in it. Humans have more of a tail than horses do. It maked me go moar mad. (B in English =))
The horse’s lack of toes also upsets me. Of course, people may argue about the pentadactyl limb being the toes of the horse, but that is an invalid argument and I find myself, once again, referring to the Penguin book of words a.k.a Dictionary. Toes are defined as:
To conform rigorously to a rule or standard.
So, this proves why horses have no organised law and have not established their own California Republic. So you see, this is why horses have not got tails and should just grow up, get a job and contribute something to society.