At one point in this, I use the word bitchiness. It’s because I couldn’t think of an appropriate replacement, and if this is problematic and the editor CAN think of a better term, I would appreciate it if he would alter it accordingly. Thanks!
Well, you haven’t heard from me in a while now have you? That’s right, the Barmiest Bethan you know is here and ready to make her mark on the world once more. And by that, of course, I mean that she has something to rant about. Again.
Today, I will be ranting to you about celebrities. Actually, no I won’t. What I mean is, I will be ranting to you about the effect celebrities have on us mere mortals. Well, even that’s not true, but for argument’s sake that’s what we’re calling it now.
I’m sure you’ve all heard about a young man called Justin Bieber, am I correct? You know, that guy who likes purple, has a film named after a band and is apparently dating a wizard (Okay, some of that may be a result of miscommunication, but I’m pretty certain that he is dating a wizard). Well anyway, I happen to know that a lot of people hate him. I must admit, his music isn’t what I would call “rock and or roll”, and his lyrical er, genius leaves much to be desired. But he’s not that bad, is he? He hasn’t killed anyone, or done you wrong in any way, has he? I mean, if he called yo’ momma fat and said that he’d happily spread a rumour about your Aunt Gladys then fine, hate away. But why do people who’ve had no contact with the lad insist on hating him and the rest of this generation’s teen pop sensations?
Why? I’ll tell you why! The fanbases. ‘Why in Google’s name must they be so darn annoying?’, you ask. Every day on Twitter, the ‘Beliebers’ and ‘One-Directioners’ and whoever else seem to do battle over who should reach the top spot on the Trending Topic list. If we’re not wishing Biebs good luck on styling his hair we’re praying that Niall doesn’t have broccoli for dinner or that Louis will remember to record his favourite cartoon. Of course, this is irritating when we’d rather be replacing song lyrics with the word ‘bacon’ or Tweeting about Phony 2012, but is it really the end of the world? I mean really guys, come on. It’s hardly the Biebster’s fault that his fans are obsessed with his majestic hairdo, is it? You can’t blame One Direction for collectively becoming a massive tween heart-throb, can you? Some people like that stuff. If they didn’t, then they wouldn’t be pop sensations and would be so far underground that only Hipsters and Mole-People would know about them. Then all your troubles would be over.
Don’t get me wrong, fans can take things too far. The adoration for these chart-toppers almost always leads to something far too serious, and a perfect example would refer to that wizard I mentioned earlier. Biebs’ girlfriend, who’s mortal name I believe to be ‘Selena Gomez’, is just innocently trying to have a normal teen relationship. Of course, in the most average of relationships, girls can get jealous. There’s usually some dagger-mouthed comments and perhaps a bit of hair-pulling and cat-fighting, but it’s never anything to serious. Of course, when you are dating the Love Master which is Justin Bieber, you’ve got a little more than some prime bitchiness to deal with. It is shocking to see the abuse that Miss Gomez gets for merely having a relationship. Whereas once she was a beloved Disney star, she now faces hatred and death threats whenever she and her boo are seen in public. It’s insanity, right? It’s okay though. I am sure even the Non-Beliebers can see the fault in this, and learn to rise above such ridiculous behaviour. Takin’ the High Road all the way home, right?
But of course, as it happens, that isn’t how it happens. Internet meme sites and gag pages are filled with “funny” jokes and ignorant posts about the world’s most Marmitiest Celebrities. We get it – you didn’t want MJ to die. But does that mean that JB should instead? The jokes are stale, and if anyone made a similar quip about your favourite rock star you’d certainly have enough to say. Yeah, we all know that 13-year-old fan-girls are rude, frustrating and with little perspective, but leave them to it. And certainly leave the celebs out of it.
Now, to round this off quite nicely, I’d like to present you with a quote from my favourite shoeless Australian Tim Minchin, who says “If you dislike somebody’s music, listen to something else. The existence of stuff you don’t enjoy is not a personal insult. Be Nice.”
Thank you kindly.