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It seems that everyone has a loved one that has passed away at some point in our lives. Sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, cousins, uncles, aunties, grandmothers, grandfathers, etc. Some members may have been close, others not so close. However close or distant you are, you certainly do feel that loss…

You may feel guilt or regret if you weren’t that close to them. You might think yourself a fool for not getting to know them, or taking the time to get along with them if you didn’t get along. Likewise, you may feel as though you should have left that person alone for a bit due to the fact that you were constantly nagging or chatting away to them…

Whatever way you want to go about it, you’ll feel something. Good or bad, everyone feels it.

Talking from personal experience, I absolutely hate death. It never really fazed me as a kid, probably because I didn’t understand it. But when I try to look back, I don’t remember the bits when I lost someone in my family. Not much anyway. I think that’s what scares me. The fact that I blank it out, I don’t want to forget (however odd it seems) I actually want to remember.

Last Christmas was the biggest shock ever. My aunty had just passed away, and it was about 10 days before Christmas day. It really shook my whole family, and made that cheery happy holiday seem like never ending sadness and grief.

My aunty has always been a big part to my life. She inspired me to be who I am, to be different and not to be afraid. I used to love going down my grandmothers just to have a chat with my aunty over a cup of coffee on a Saturday. She was so bubbly and alive, it was warming to know that I always had her there to talk to. I know I have other family members to talk to, as well as friends, but it’s just not the same. Quite frankly, nobody makes a cup of coffee like my aunty Kelle. Not even I can get it right, and it’s pretty unbelievable because I watched her do it a million and one times. It just seems like she made with extra love and care. (I know it sounds stupid, but I think that’s what’s missing)

The fact that my aunty has gone is really sad. When I found out, I just broke down and I weren’t myself for weeks. I felt like I had just lost a sister, or even more than that. It hurt so much to think that she would never be there any more to talk to me and reassure me whenever I feel down or have a problem. The amount of times I had text her or phoned her when I felt depressed was countless. It took me ages to acknowledge she was gone. I kept thinking that it was all a joke, and she walked through my front door and give me a massive hug and say “everything’s going be alright”.

She was the funniest woman I knew, she was so cheerful and always positive. She had a girlfriend too, who is absolutely amazing. When my aunty was here I was close to her, but I wouldn’t really go to her for advice and things, she was always there though. Now that my auntie’s gone she has been there for me, just like Kelle was. It’s great to know that I have her, because she was the closest to Kelle than anyone could ever possibly get.

It’s going to take everyone ages to get over it, simply because she was a big part to all our lives. She was so strong and always pulled through everything. My aunty Kelle was really inspiring.

I loved her so much, and the part that killed me the most was that I never got to say goodbye. I hadn’t seen her for a couple of weeks, even though I did speak to her, I didn’t see her before she passed away. That will always bug me and play at my mind. It’ll gnaw away until there’s nothing left, but I guess that’s not my fault.

I do not know why, but I seem to respect my family a bit more since her passing. I did before, but I do now more than ever. I realise what I’ve actually got now, whereas before I thought I could have had better. I have an amazing family and I love them so much! I don’t think they know how much I love them, but I hope they know I do. I’d do anything for them.

I have an amazing grandmother who is so sweet and caring… But she’s so funny, always making me laugh and doing funny things. The memories I have with her I will cherish forever.

My mother and father have been there forever (like the rest of my family) They’re so supportive, funny, loving and caring.

My uncle is amazing, too, He’s always making everyone laugh and stuff. I don’t see him or speak to him often now, and I can honestly say I miss him a little bit…

Talking about my uncle, I have an amazing cousin too! He’s the best! He’s always been like my brother and more to me. We used to play games when we were younger and drive our grandmother mental pulling her house apart making games and pretend camping!

All my family are amazing, they’re so random and funny. I love them all, and I definitely know where I get all the randomness from.

The point of this article was to share my story, and send a message out there that you shouldn’t take family for granted. Once they’re gone, they won’t come back. Love them with all your heart and cherish them, they’re the most important thing in your life. They’ll stand by your side through everything, even if it’s all you’re fault why you’re in a certain situation.

Thank you 🙂


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