I’m Not Impressed By The Radio

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I’m currently on work experience in Cardiff city centre. And before we start, this isn’t going to be one of those ‘Valleys Boy travels into the big, bad world of work’ because it’s not. Mainly because I’m not some country bumpkin, I have actually – shock! Horror! – been to Cardiff many times before.

No, today I am focusing on the radio which has increasingly become a vital component of my trip down to Cardiff with my mother. Without the radio my mother and I would have to resort to idle conversation to fill the empty void left by the beloved radio; dead and silent. And I’m sorry, mother, but I’m not a morning person and I know you can’t stand sarcasm, a fair few knock-knock jokes and a Natalia Kills rendition first thing in the morning. So, all things considered, it’s either a jaunty tune or two on the radio to pass the time…or silence.

I don’t really listen to the radio an awful lot anymore; my iPod means that I have – at my disposal 24/7 – a selection of all the tracks and albums I like with no annoying cheesy ‘Tell ‘em Trevor sent ewwwww’ adverts or that bloody ‘Scream and Shout’ song, by will.i.am featuring Britney Spears, replayed over and over again. Is Capital FM trying to numb the minds of the nation to turn us into their own personal will.i.am and Britney warriors? It certainly seems so. Anyway, I digress. *posh word alert*

The only time I really did listen to the radio was during my GCSE revision in 2011, where I realised that it was better to have a selection of random tracks and the generally amusing ‘chat’ of Radio 1 rather than my own personal tunes in my ear that would, obviously, distract me from my revision. Because when I hear Natalia Kills, I have to dance. So I then, very quickly, became a fan of the radio, Radio 1 in particular.

But my love for the radio quietly disappeared when my iPod lured me back into his (yes, my iPod has a gender. His name is Wilhelm if you must know. That’s not weird. Is it? Is it?!) sweet, sweet embrace because, let’s face it, I got sick of Radio 1 playing Paramore and Jake Bugg. Plus, with the radio you can’t listen to music and play Temple Run at the same now, can you? Apple 1 Radio 0.

But, unfortunately, I was ‘persuaded’ – i.e. forced in a way that would make Chinese water torture look like a simple hearty pat on the back – by my mother that I shouldn’t/couldn’t take my iPod to work experience with me, so that I could fool my work experience employers that I didn’t prefer the company of electronic music to actual human interaction. Which of course is not true at all. Anyway, on my first day my mother and I were stuck in traffic for most of our journey. And that’s when the radio and I slowly started to become friends again when – mind-numbingly cheesy adverts aside – I learnt that I could somewhat depend on Capital FM. They did play very current, mostly good music and…perish the thought…Kam and Sally were actually quite likeable. Dare I say funny.

And yes, yes, yes, I was disappointed when they blurred out all the naughty words in songs like (How We Do) Party by Rita Ora – which is an almighty chune – and Thrift Shop by Macklemore. I did understand, though, because, you know, we can’t have toddlers learning naughty words until they at least reach the age of 4 nowadays and I’m sure some Christian soldier would, upon hearing the un-edited 212 – the only edit of that song you ever need to hear is the un-edited edit if that at all makes sense – unleash the metaphorical keyboard-driven Kraken on some message board somewhere – probably America – and burst into tears. That song is, after all, very provocative.

So, if that last paragraph didn’t make any sense to you then basically I didn’t like the blurring out of naughty words but I understood it. I could deal with it. But I started to get angry…quite angry when I heard the ‘radio version’ of Try by P!nk. Now, I like Try by P!nk, I included Try by P!nk on my list of the best singles of the year of our Natalia Kills 2012, so I do like that song in all its glory. It is in fact beautiful. So, when Capital FM played Try and edited it down to one verse and one chorus, I knocked said radio off and said to the radio;

‘Look, I think we need to take a break. See other people.’

Radio is not my friend anymore with such butchery as this. Much of the beauty of Try by P!nk is the way the song slowly builds up to its crescendo, with the guitars and the drums climaxing after 3 verses of angst, P!nk lets her emotions free amongst the torrent of guitars as she laments a love that is slowly slipping away from her. The sloppy sloths at Capital FM instead decided to cut immediately to the final chorus; meaning P!nk’s angst-ridden wails were not ‘earned’ by the listener; they were rushed and they, in all honesty, cheapened the song quicker than you could wail a note and label it Celine Dion.

That’s the thing I don’t agree with on the radio; the terrible radio edits. I mean, some radio edits can be inspiring and amazing (see the Bad Romance radio edit on YouTube) yet some songs, such as poor Try, lose what made them so beautiful to begin with through the dreaded radio edit.
Radio, think on your sins.

And don’t even get me started on the lack of Natalia Kills airplay…

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1 thought on “I’m Not Impressed By The Radio”

  1. Toriabeth! says:

    The radio went downhill when they let people like Chris Moyles host shows. Also, I completely agree with you on the whole blurring out thing, it really annoys me.

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