Remembering Robin Williams

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Yn Gymraeg // Welsh version

* Editor’s Note: If you are suffering from depression, or know someone who’s suffering, here are some useful organisations that can provide help, advice and guidance:

Mind, Time To Change, Mental Health Support, Supportline, Meic, Childline.*

This is an article I thought I would never have to write up and it seems this article came at a time too soon.

It was reported on August 11th 2014 that famous celebrity actor and comedian, Robin Williams, was found unresponsive in his home where he was soon pronounced dead. The cause of death seems to be suicide by asphyxia (a condition of severely deficient supply of oxygen to the body that arises from abnormal breathing). While reports are still going on and more will surely be revealed after this article is posted about the actual cause of death, some believe it could maybe relate to him admitting himself into an addiction treatment centre due to past alcoholism, but we’ve also found out that he seemed to have been suffering severe depression before his death.

If nobody reading knows of this man’s accolades then you don’t watch TVever. But this man has been involved with dozens upon dozens of classic films that we still watch to this day and hold dear to our hearts. Fisher King, Hook, Aladdin (where he provided the voice of ‘The Genie’), Mrs. Doubtfire, Jumanji, Good Will Hunting (which he won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor), Flubber, One Hour Photo, Robots, the Night at the Museum films, the Happy Feet films, and that doesn’t even begin to list all the different films and cameo appearances of television shows (sitcoms, cartoons, dramas, etc) he has participated in. He has also directed and written in his career due to his vast experience, plus he had a career in stand-up comedy. If these aren’t reasons enough to adore the man, he is even a fan of the Nintendo video game series The Legend of Zelda. He loved it so much, he even named his only daughter Zelda, naming her after Princess Zelda from said series.

All these astonishing things this man has done, and apparently, he’s not with us anymore. I say apparently because I’m not sure it’s truly sunk in yet. I mean when I first heard about this at around 12:15 in the morning of the 12th August, (keep in mind American times differ so this would have been around 6 or so hours after he was announced dead), and I thought: ‘Yeah, right, Robin Williams isn’t dead. It’s another hoax celebrity death, we get those constantly these days!’ I just wished this one time it really was a hoax.

It hit me pretty hard, you never know what you have until it’s gone, that’s how the saying goes right? I know this saying too well that’s for sure. And yet, I haven’t cried on the outside yet, and I’m honestly unsure why I haven’t. After all the countless moments this icon has given so many people around the world throughout his life, can I not shed one tear? Have I become so jaded over bad experiences in my life that this means nothing to me? I mean it truly does mean something since as I am writing this right now, I haven’t slept, I tried to go to bed at 4:30 in the morning, but I just couldn’t. Maybe that’s my sleep clock messing with me, or maybe it’s to do with similar issues that the man himself was going through.

What I mean by this is that I am currently suffering through mild depression, I have been on medication ever since mid-2013, and I haven’t been off them since. In fact, I have recently been on sleeping tablets on top of these due to my sleeping being messed up. Now, no way am I comparing mild depression to something as severe as what Mr Williams was going through, but I can truly understand what he must have been going through, maybe even his friends and family as well. And this is what makes this real tragedy even more saddening, is the fact that it was quite possibly depression that led to his death.

I mean, usually when people are talking about someone who is going through this medical condition it’s usually: ‘Oh, then don’t be depressed’ or ‘Try harder!’, or maybe they just won’t notice and carry on as if everything is fine, since you appear to be fine on the outside. Maybe people won’t even talk to you, or even attempt to do so, because maybe you are just that kind of person. In this sense, people would not understand unless they are going through depression themselves. There isn’t really any true words to describe how it feels, I suppose all I can say is that it hurts. Whether mentally, physically, both, it simply hurts us, in ways that people couldn’t begin to imagine.

Again, as I mentioned, I have not had any real sleep since hearing about all of this so maybe all of my writing here ends up being seen as pointless or muddled up ramblings, and I feel if this is how I have shown respect to Robin Williams and everything he has done for the world, then maybe I’m disrespecting him. This is not my intention by any means, I have so much respect for this legend, and I use that word truthfully, he really is a legend to every profession that he has sought after. His name has been etched into history, and it will never go away. A few years from now, five? A decade from now? A few decades? A millennium even?

Robin Williams is truly one of the greatest actors (voice or otherwise) and comedians, not just of our time, but of all time. You will forever be one of my greatest inspirations in life, to become a better person, maybe a better (or an) actor as I’m looking into this profession myself. You will forever be missed by the world. Darn, I wish I could say more heartfelt words to say about all of this, I’m just really not thinking right now. I’m sorry, I’m truly, truly sorry to everyone reading, I’m justI’m sorry.

But all I can say from this experience as well, if anyone reading this suffers from any type of depression, no matter how serious, you are not alone. Talk to people, whether it’s your family, friends, anyone online, preferably in person would be even better, even if it may prove to be difficult for you, it’s always difficult for me so again you aren’t alone if you feel like this. Maybe going to see the doctor around treatment in ways to help you cope with your troubles. Just please, please don’t think you are alone, because you are not. And if more people realise this and get the help they need, then all of this wouldn’t have been for naught.

Thank you all, I hope everyone can have a better future, all I know is that there is now another large hole in my heart that will take quite some time to fill up due to all of this.

Image: frolichawaii

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