Rhys Review: Attack Pro Wrestling – Press Start 3

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Alright, so here I am again with another wrestling themed article, and hey, it’s another review on a wrestling promotion that I’ve seen live. In a past article where I reviewed the first CHIKARA show in Wales, I mentioned I missed the pre-show that happened, which featured talent from the Attack! Pro Wrestling promotion, but was only able to see the main CHIKARA show and not the pre-show. Since then I’ve been waiting for the next show to appear in Cathays, which is one of the few places they usually go back to on a regular basis. The latest one to take place there was the Press Start 3 show, however before I could get the money to buy tickets, they sold out, like, a few days after the tickets went on sale. So, then, I was out of options until a few days ago. See on the day of the show, one of the people that helps train us mentioned that he could put our names down for some spare on the door tickets, so long as we pay of course. So when I saw this I thought, well I may be three quarters into my overdraft right now, but gosh darn it, if I’m going to send some money, I may as well do it right. Thanks again for getting those tickets (person of unnamed disclosure), you are a scholar and a saint, or some other adjectives that say you’re a swell guy in a weird fashion, for now I could actually go to my first Attack! Show after hearing such… interesting things about them, and how I can share my experience with the world. Or at least the few people that read the things I post online, assuming people do actually read my articles.

The venue was a familiar from a training session I had in the past but this was the first time I’d been there to an actual wrestling show, and honestly, it wasn’t the best experience. This was mostly due to how many people showed up all hot and sweaty, in weather that was even wetter and sweatier. It was not the best of times, darn Welsh weather. But, still, it seemed people were ready to enjoy themselves despite the circumstances. People even came to the show dressed up as different characters. There was a Pokemon trainer, a Sonic, Lara Croft, a Sim, and even a few gender bender costumes for Mario & Luigi, Princess Peach, The Riddler and others. Even the announcer was dressed up as Toad for the Mario series – which was a little creepier than it needed to be. I managed to sit by the guys working with sounds since I know them from training and another show I helped with, but I was there as a fan today. Speaking of which, into the show!

Opening Match: Fans Bring the Gaming Weapons
Morgan Webster (playing as Spyro the Dragon) defeated Kid Lykos (playing as Crash Bandicoot)

This was a crazy way to start off the night that had two retro gaming icons: Spyro (back when he was good; sorry/not sorry Skylanders) coming out to his theme as did Crash, and a floating mask appeared and talked for a bit – it’s a Crash thing, I’m not into my Bandicoot lore sadly. But this was a cool opener which had fans chanting for a pineapple which someone brought, and was of course used twice in more painful manners than simply eating them. Speaking of fruit, keeping for the small bits of Crash lore I do know, there were apples around the ring, and more which appeared from a mystery box or two, another mask which Lykos used with a dive, and even a TNT box! Thankfully no one in the audience were harmed by this, if anything they also helped with the carnage, those sick and twisted people. I mean, other than the pineapple, there were keyboards, guitars (gaming ones not real ones), a cosplay staff from someone who came as The Riddler, and a Playstation 2?! Yes an actual PlayStation 2. I suppose it wouldn’t trade-in for much anyway. Either way Webster hits the 450 Splash for the win and this was certainly the craziest start to a live wrestling show that I’ve ever seen.

Robbie X (playing as Sonic the Hedgehog) defeated Mike Bird (playing as Dr. Robotnik)

Another enjoyable match that had Robotnik/Eggman struggle to get in and out of the ring since Mike seemed to have been padded with something, which he claimed was ‘all-natural’, except when towards the end of the match you could see white stuff coming out of him. Please don’t take that out of context, this was a family friendly show after all. While the ‘Flying Egg’ stuck too being out of breath when running around the ring and doing more power moves and less flips and on account, Sonic X (Oh dear God, why?!) stuck to rolls, lots and lots of rolls, and even a few other flashy moves that didn’t involve rolling, even grabbing a few gold rings along the way – no seriously, there were cardboard gold rings in a few places that he grabbed, it was corny as heck. But nowhere near as bad as mentioning the animated series that many wish wasn’t a thing that existed, as well as the ‘Flying Egg’. It causes Mike Bird sometimes to be called ‘Flying’ Mike Bird, and Dr. Eggman, is, well, flying. Anyway, the match was a blast while these puns aren’t, next match please! Now!

Kris Travis (Luigi) defeated Martin Kirby (Kirby)

Martin Kirby (as Kirby) came out and announced he had eaten Mario (thus gaining Mario’s abilities) – it’s a Kirby mechanic that he does to get other things powers. I’m more baffled as to how Kirby was speaking full English. Maybe he got it from Mario, but that does not explain the Sheffield accent. This lead to Kris Travis making his ATTACK! Pro debut as Luigi and a match between the two taking place.

This match was one of the more enjoyable ones as it seemed that everyone was having a good time, even Kris and Martin. There Kris tried to put on the typical fake Italian accent for Luigi, I say tried since he sounded more Mario than Luigi during the match, but that’s my inner Nintendo Nerd showing. Kirby was trying his best not to laugh but he was smiling during many of these moments. At one point a plunger was used on the bald Kirby and was stuck on his head for a good 3 minutes, one of the very few instances that the Mario bros would ever put their plumbing skills to good use (other than Super Mario). Seriously, it just got funnier the longer it was stuck on his head, whether it be when WeeGee used moves while grabbing onto the plunger a few times with it still being stuck on, or when Kirby would have to move to it the front of his head to execute other moves.

There were red shells and green shells used as weapons and even a power-up for Luigi when he ate a mushroom during it. Luckily no blue shells appeared, otherwise I’m sure one of them would have died. The match ended when Kris hit Martin with a bomb-like move onto a pizza, because you know, Italian stereotypes, yay!

After this there was a short intermission where people could get merch, go to the toilet and just breath for a bit since by this point the heat only got worse. Not much to say about this other than seeing the people I train with at the merch or in the crowd since some came just to see the show as fans, which is always nice to see. Before the show started there was a cosplay contest for people in the audience who came to the show dressed up as video/comic/TV characters. From those chosen, The Riddler from earlier, a Lara Croft and a Sonic the Hedgehog were chosen, with The Riddler winning it. Of course we were treated to a riddle from the infamous one:

“What is black, white and red all over? – A zebra with a slit throat.”

Well… that took a turn. Onto the show? (Never let her near me.)

Elephant Mask (Scorpion) def. Love Making Demon (Lara Croft) & Daft Bump (Gun Jack)

This match, which saw a gender bent Lara Croft (minus the side boob) was quite a fun paced match, however by this point, people in the crowd must have realised how hot it was as they seemed to be a little bit drained after they came back. They weren’t into the match nearly as much as the first half of the show, which is a shame since everyone here did a fine job wrestling-wise, and even had some nice comedic moments added. The finish came when Scorpio hit a FATALITY on Lara Croft for the win. Seriously it was like the old retro, mind the organ gouging and body destroying and more clean because of that 18+ rating.

Chief Deputy Dunne def. Franklin Clinton with Tommy Vercetti (Super Santos Sr. with Ramses)

This match sadly kind of flew past me for a number of reasons. Santos and Ramses portrayed Grand Theft Auto characters, which I am not into the series nearly, and as well as the heat even affecting me to the point of feeling very drowsy, much like a lot of the people here apparently. But, it had its charm with some nice humour mentioning the star rating system with GTA, cheat code and even one point where the manager ‘paused the game’ to remove Chief’s weapon, a highlight I really enjoyed.

The match came to an end after some shenanigans to the ref and a Springboard Double-Knee Facebreaker onto Franklin. Still a fine match regardless of the heat situation.

Main Event
Pete Dunne (Team Rocket) and Wild Boar (Koffing) defeated Eddie Dennis (Charizard) and Mark Andrews (Pikachu)

While this match was intended to be an Attack Pro Wrestling 24/7 Championship match with champion Pete Dunne and challenger Eddie Dennis (who came out with cardboard Charizard wings and breathed fire – kind of), a wild Koffing appeared and was caught by Team Rocket to attack Charizard. Of course, this prompted Mandrews to appear as Pikachu and join his buddy, making it a Tag Team Match Playa! It’s a wrestling meme, those who know it will know. Thankfully by this point everyone knew this was the main event and were actually doing their best to get into the match some more and it only got better as the match went on, even some moments where the guys were being thrown into the crowd seats, without the people in them of course, that would have been the worst. I mean we were hot enough by not doing anything, but having sweaty men thrown against you to add to that, the worst! Thankfully that didn’t happen, but with the way some of them were diving all over the place with cardboard wings attached to their backs, you’d think that’s what they were going for.

Still, this match was a decent way to send the people home happy, despite the villains of the Pokemon world coming out on top when Pete hit Mark with the 24/7 Championship while the ref was seeing to the fainted Koffing and got the pinfall win. After the match Eddie proclaimed that he was still going after Pete and the 24/7 Championship at the next show to take place in Bristol this year, so this is far from the end for these two.

After the show I stuck around to help put some of the chairs away since my train wasn’t for a while after. And shake hands with people who worked on the show (ring wise and production/merch wise) and just mingled, kind of before my train arrived. But, yeah, it was a fun time, I mean the weather could have been better, cause warm weather and rain work so well together. I just feel bad for those that competed since they were more often than not covered in face and body paint all night, which never goes well for anyone, plus competing always tires you out, so all that in this climate must have been pretty gruelling for them. Even still they should all feel pleased that they made me happy, and I’m sure a lot of the other people who attended this show.

If anyone if you are interested in attending any future Attack! Shows, I’ll add links to their social media things (Website, Facebook, Twitter, anything I come across). But that’s it for me, so until next time I guess.

Website: http://www.attackprowrestling.co.uk/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ATTACKprowrestling
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ATTACKWrestling
Merch: http://www.attackprowrestling.bigcartel.com/

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