Help: I have feelings for a girl

My mates at school are talking about boyfriends but I don't have feelings for a boy I have feeling for a girl what should I do?

WICID Nan

Hi Deary,

Thanks for coming through to Wkd Nan. It sounds like you are feeling confused about your sexuality at the moment after having had these conversations with your friends. Try not to worry, it’s common for young people to have feelings for friends of the same sex as they start to get grips with their sexuality. If you don’t feel ready there is no reason you need to act on your feelings at this time. There is no pressure to pick a label at this time such as “Gay”, “Straight” or “Bi-sexual” and its actually just okay just to explore these feelings for now, as what you feel right now might not reflect your sexuality in the future. If you are feeling like you are ready to go for a specific label such as “Gay”, “Straight” or “Bi-sexual” then that’s totally okay too and Wkd Nan would encourage you to be proud of who you are. Some people feel that they are ready to give themselves this label as soon as they experience sexual feelings, however others never feel that they fit a specific label and it’s important to remember that there are no rules of right and wrong here, everyone is different, and you need to do what feels right for you at this time. Take a look at this article on the Mix website which highlights some of these issues.

http://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/gender-and-sexuality/exploring-your-sexuality-3353.html 

Confused about your sexuality? Think you might be gay, or bi, or a lesbian? The Mix helps you explore your sexuality.

 

As I’ve said there is no rush to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with and this includes telling other people about your feelings. This might feel like a big deal right now and so it’s important that you do this when you feel ready and the time feels right. If that time is now, you don’t need to tell everyone at once, remember there is no right and wrong and you can do this in your own time. For example, a good place to start could be to choose to confide in a friend or family member that you trust. A supportive reaction from this person will help you build your confidence. For more tips on telling or “Coming Out” to your loved ones check out the Stonewall guide below.

http://www.stonewallcymru.org.uk/youth/coming-out-young-person

What is ‘coming out’? The process of telling others about your sexuality (also known as ‘sexual orientation’) is often referred to as ‘coming out’. Coming out is …

 

If your loved ones don’t react as you initially expect them to, try giving them some time to understand what you have told them. For example, they may seem shocked, but this doesn’t necessarily mean that they disapprove or reject what you have told them, it could just mean that it was not something they were expecting.

 If they have questions, try and answer them to help them understand the way you feel or direct them to some of the resources on the Stonewall website.  

http://www.stonewallcymru.org.uk/sites/default/files/sytycig_english.pdf 

How can they be sure it isn’t just a PHASE? We all know that growing up is confusing, particularly where feelings are concerned. Some young people

I hope some of these tips will help you to cope with your confusion over these feelings and help you figure out what it is that you want to do next. Should you need any more support now or in the future, there’ls lots out there, for example the LGBT Cyrmu helpine (see below) where you can access support to help you deal with your feelings but also practical information and advice on LGBT support groups, services and social groups in your locality. You can also contact the Meic Helpline who provide information, advice and advocacy to all under 25s in Wales. 

Take care 

 

 

1 thought on “Help: I have feelings for a girl”

  1. AliBenn says:

    HELP I dont know whether to change my hairstyle while im in school! Can you help me?

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